15 Real Hilarious Amazon Reviews You Have To Read

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Amazon reviews written by Amazon customers are at the core of Amazon.com.

Why? Because these types of reviews take time to write, and they help other Amazon shoppers feel good knowing that they are making the right purchasing decision.

But, there are times when you are shopping for a particular product on Amazon that you come across a review that is so out of place, that you wonder if it is for real.

Recently while shopping on Amazon.com, I found some of the funniest Amazon reviews I have ever seen.

That’s why I created this post to share with the world the funniest Amazon reviews written by Amazon customers.

Side Note: If you think I made these reviews up, click the links to the products, and you will not believe your eyes. 

15 Real Hilarious Amazon Reviews You Have To Read

All products are independently selected by our writers and editors. If you buy something through our links, Peek At This may earn an affiliate commission.

Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer - Funniest Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer

Product Description: 

The easy-to-use Hutzler Banana Slicer provides a quick solution to slice a banana uniformly every time. 

Simply press the slicer on a peeled banana and the work is done. Safe, fun and easy for children to use.

Amazon ReviewWorks great, especially with oranges.

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant - Funniest Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant

Product description:

The Wenger Giant Knife includes 87 implements for almost any situation. There are too many to list here.

Amazon Review “I had it in my hip pocket, then I fell down. When I got up, I was dead. Other than that, it’s ok.” 

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Uranium Ore

Product description:

Radioactive Ore Specimen.

The ore sample is Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials (NORM). Uranium Ore samples are useful as check sources for testing Geiger Counters.

No chemical or spectral analysis is performed on the radioactive ore sample.

So the source of the ore’s radioactivity is not determined and may be any of, or any number of radioactive elements such as uranium, thorium and potassium and any of their decay products such as radium and radon.

Amazon Review: “Great for making things glow…I can see my organs now if I pull the sheets over my head.

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates - Amazon reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates

Product Description:

This book was a product of RAND’s pioneering work in computing, as well a testament to the patience and persistence of researchers in the early days of RAND.

Amazon Review: “A snippet from page 289: 14429 56298 03831 37697 42304 …”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Accoutrements Horse Head Mask - Amazon reviews
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Accoutrements Horse Head Mask

Product Description

We’ve discovered yet another universal truth – a person wearing a Horse Head Mask looks downright disturbing.

But don’t take our word for it, wear this latex mask with realistic fur mane to your next social function and watch as people scramble to avoid you. Fits most adult heads. Bagged with illustrated tag.

Amazon Review: “This mask imbues the wearer with super-human abilities. The power to make everyone around you feel akward and uncomfortable being first among them. After wearing the mask for several days my identity was consumed and replaced. There is only the horse now. Best purchase I ever made.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

UFO Detector - Amazon Reviews
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UFO Detector

Product Description

UFO sightings are reported all over the planet by thousands of people.

The real question is whether UFO’s are interstellar vehicles visiting Earth? Most UFO sightings can be classified as misidentified aircraft, planets or other aerial phenomena, but not all of them.

There is a small percentage of UFO sightings that can’t be explained by any known aircraft or natural phenomena. It is this small percentage of UFO sightings that create an exciting possibility. Over the years real UFO sightings have reported simultaneous electromagnetic disturbances.

The UFO Detector is designed to sense these electromagnetic disturbances and signal their detection flashing 13 LED’s simultaneously and beeping.

The elegantly designed transparent plastic disc case is a handsome sculptured conversation piece that allows one to see the electronics inside the case.

Suitable for use as a small base or as a display on a desk, shelf or bedroom dresser.

Amazon Review: ” The detector has become a beacon for people in the retirement community where my father displays it with pride. He asked what to do if a UFO was detected, and offered to send his wife out to see if any family members were returning.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank - Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

Product Description

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank.

Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions.

Amazon Review: ” No more being stuck at the end of the pick up carline at school! After I bought mine, I went to the front of the line quickly as people scurried right out of the way.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz - Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz

Product Description

Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts.

Amazon Review: “60% of the time, it works every time.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch - Amazon reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

Product Description

An extreme timepiece that defies the imagination and pushes the boundaries of luxurious style.

Featuring solid but lightweight titanium construction and high-end features such as automatic movement, hesalite crystal and a deployment clasp place this watch in the all-time Pantheon of prestigious timepieces.

Amazon Review: “I LOVE this watch! L-O-V-E I-T! Every time I check the time I am reminded of my loving wife and 3 children, without them I would not have this watch. I am so thankful for them.

Just some advice, you get a lot more money if you sell people by the organ than you do when they are all together. The extra work is totally worth it. TRUST ME.

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz - amazon reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz

Legal Disclaimer

DO NOT DRINK

Amazon Reviews: “This is a fine milk, but the product line appears to be limited in available colors. I could only find white.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Dr. Tung's Tongue Cleaner, Stainless Steel - amazon reviews
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Dr. Tung's Tongue Cleaner, Stainless Steel

Product Description

Modern research confirms that tongue cleaning is the best way to remove bacteria that cause bad breath.

Tongue cleansing also helps improve taste, remove the coating on the tongue and slow the growth of plaque. DrTung’s Tongue Scraper is the leading tongue cleaner for a reason.

Amazon Reviews:” I bought this thinking it would help clear the white layer on my tongue. Not only did it make my tongue a nice pink and make my tongue moist again, but I can also taste distinct flavors I never noticed before.

For instance, I used to love the brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts, but I thought the cinnamon part was false advertising. Before, I could never notice the cinnamon. Today, a day after I started using the tongue cleaner, I noticed the cinnamon. I took a bite out of the pop tart, and it was the first time I ever noticed that cinnamon was an actual ingredient.

If you are trying to decide if you want this product, go treat yourself to a brown sugar and cinnamon pop tart. If you can definitely taste the cinnamon, you probably don’t need this. But if not, I urge you to order this.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee - Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

Product Description

Hand dyed shirt featuring a stunning screen print of 3 wolves howling at a moon on a preshrunk, 100% cotton tee dyed and printed by the mountain.

Amazon Reviews: “Once I apply the magical wolves fabric to my chest, my mullet grew like Odin’s beard, my rusted T-top Firebird turned sweet candy apple red and my White Snake tape started playing its body moving melodies once again. God life is good!”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

How to Avoid Huge Ships Paperback - Amazon Reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

How to Avoid Huge Ships Paperback

Amazon Reviews: “I think this book misses the bigger issue. We shouldn’t be just avoiding huge ships. We should be confronting them. If we spend our lives running away, the huge ships win.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Sol Coastal The Beach Behemoth - amazon reviews
VIA AMAZON.COM

Sol Coastal The Beach Behemoth

Product Description

Measuring 12 feet from pole to pole, we’re pretty sure this puts other “jumbo” beach balls to shame.

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb - Amazon Reviews

Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb

I am leaving the best for last! The item is currently unavailable right now on Amazon, and when you read the amazon reviews below, you will understand.

Amazon Reviews: “My friend hasn’t been practicing social distancing during the pandemic, so I bought him a bag of these gummies for his birthday. It’s now been 10 days since he left the house out of fear of pooping himself again. I’m not gonna say Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears are the cure for the coronavirus, but it certainly helps slow down the spread.”

Hilarious Amazon Reviews:

Derek

Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2018

My flight was leaving at 8 in the morning. After awaking and trying to get to the airport, I forgot to grab something to eat. I usually take my time and do things in order, but not this day.

I was traveling from Boston to LA coming home from a work trip. I do it regularly so nothing was new to me. I stayed in the same hotel and knew the time I needed to leave to get to the airport on time.

During my work trip, I stopped at a convenience store and saw these gummy bears and thought they would be a perfect gift for my son Charlie. He loves gummy bears and gummy worms.

So the morning I was to head back to LA, I slept through my alarm. That never happens. I rushed to get out of the hotel and threw those gummies in my carry on bag to make it on time to the airport. After speeding and filling up gas in the rental, I made it to my gate as they were boarding.

I get on the plane and head down the aisle to find my window seat near the middle of the plane. I asked politely for the two adorable older ladies sitting in the middle and aisle seats if I could pass by to my seat.

They obliged. The lady in the middle must have been around 80 years old so it took her some time to get up and make sure she was holding on to something so she didn’t fall as she stepped into the aisle. I thanked them as I sat and settled into my seat.

Fast forward 20 minutes as we reach our cruising altitude of around 30,000 feet in the air. As I reach into my carry on bag to grab my headphones, I see the gummy bears. Since I am hungry and need something, I decided to open them up and just have a few to hold me over until we land.

I wanted to save some for my son so I maybe had 4 or 5. But I had 4 or 5 too many because once the bears had a few minutes to adjust to their new home, they began to work.

It started out with a little cramp. Which is normal with gassing on a plane. You do not want to fart on a plane so you hold it in. It is airplane etiquette. It would come and go over a few minutes so I thought nothing of it. Then it got worse. The cramps intensified, the sweating started, and I began to notice the older ladies looking over at me.

About 30 minutes into eating these bears, my thinking went from, “Oh these are just farts, I can hold them,” to “Oh dear God not here.” I have been a Christian my whole life and this is the test. If there is a God, please help me leave this plane with my dignity intact.

After waiting for the intense cramp wave to pass, I stood up and jump over those two women. I could not wait for them to stand so I stood up, (my back facing them) and tried to shimmy past them.

I think a toot came out cause I heard one say, “Oh Lord, was that you?” After reaching the aisle, I waddled to the back of the plane where the least amount of risk would be.

To my dismay, it was in use. That left one bathroom left in the front. I looked down the aisle and saw my Mt. Everest. I had to somehow keep my wet cheeks tighter than Fort Knox whilst waddling forward, whilst praying no one gets out of their seats.

After 5 minutes of stop and go, I made it to the bathroom and was pulling my pants down as I entered the bathroom. The door was still unlocked as the sweet release was underway.

I thought I died. I thought this was it. Even though I was on the throne confessing my sins, I thought my time was called. I lost count on how many knocks at the door there was. I must have been in there for 45 minutes, but I made it.

I washed my hands and threw water in my face to calm me down. Opening the door, I saw the faces looking back at me.

Apparently, the seal to the bathroom was not airtight. Letting just the slightest airflow from that bathroom to the main cabin possible. These were daughters, mothers, and children looking at me. I could feel their questions and comments. “What have you done?” “We still have 2 hours left.” “Please divert this plane.”

s I began walking down, the man in the first row of first-class grabbed my arm. He said, “Hey man, where is your seat?” Confused, I told him and he said, “Go get your stuff and come back and sit here, you need this more than me.” I was embarrassed and ashamed. I had a family at home waiting for me.

I recommend theses bears to anyone. But please eat them responsibly.

Conclusion

When you think about it, life is pretty stressful, and we are always looking for something to break the tension in our daily lives.

What the best way of breaking the tension? A great belly laugh! I hope that this post of my 15 favorite product reviews on Amazon.com tickles your funny bone.

Have you found an Amazon review that you find hilarious and would like to share? Please feel free to comment below as I would love to hear about it.

Oh, please share this with social media by using the links below if you found it funny. Thanks!

Side Note: If you ever decide to make a purchase from Amazon, for ANYTHING, even diapers..you can help me without spending a penny to do so. If you use my links to make your purchase (when you click a link here and it takes you to Amazon, that is using my links as once there you can buy anything and I will get a teeny small credit) you will, in turn, be helping this site to keep on going and keep on growing.

So all I ask is that if you find the free info on this website useful AND you ever need to purchase at Amazon, just use the link below. You can even bookmark the Amazon link and use it anytime you buy something. It costs you nothing extra but will provide me and this site with a dollar or two to keep on trucking along.

AMAZON LINK (you can bookmark this one)


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4 thoughts on “15 Real Hilarious Amazon Reviews You Have To Read

    • July 24, 2020 at 12:10 pm
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      Thanks! I saw the Gummi Bear one last week, and I just had to search for more products for a laugh.

    • July 24, 2020 at 2:54 pm
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      Thanks for checking out the post. I kinda wanna try those gummy bears and see if that’s a miracle diet that we all are missing out on.

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