The Day Everything Almost Fell Apart
Picture this: Day three of shooting “Going Home.” My lead actress needs to cry—not just tear up, but full-on emotional breakdown. I’m standing there like an idiot saying “be sadder” while she stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.
Because I had.
That’s what happens when you don’t know how to actually direct actors. You resort to telling people what to feel instead of giving them something they can actually do.
We took a break. I apologized. We talked about her character’s loss—what it felt like in her body, what specific memories haunted her. Ten minutes later, she nailed it in one take.
That moment taught me more about directing than film school ever did.
The Real Problem With Most Directing Advice
Here’s what nobody tells you: most directing advice is garbage.
“Create a comfortable environment.” Sure, great. But how?
“Communicate clearly.” Fantastic. What does that actually sound like when you’re on set and the actor isn’t getting it?
The internet is full of vague platitudes that sound good on paper but fall apart the second you’re standing on set with twenty crew members staring at you, waiting for direction.
After directing five short films, assistant directing on ten more, and acting in thirteen productions, I’ve learned something critical: directing actors isn’t about following a checklist. It’s about understanding what actors actually need to do their job—and what gets in their way.
Most directing advice treats symptoms. We need to address the cause.
Why Most Directors Struggle With Actors
The root problem? Directors think in results. Actors work in process.
When you tell an actor “be scared,” you’re asking for a result. But actors can’t just be scared on command. That’s not how human beings work.
What they can do is respond to specific imagery, pursue clear objectives, and connect to physical sensations. Give an actor something concrete—”you just heard footsteps above you in what should be an empty house”—and they’ll find the fear themselves.
This is what Judith Weston calls being “process-oriented” versus “result-oriented.” It’s the single biggest distinction between directors who get great performances and directors who don’t.
Process-oriented direction uses verbs, not adjectives. It focuses on what the character wants, what’s at stake, and what specific actions they’re taking. It trusts the actor to find the emotion through the circumstances.
Result-oriented direction tries to manufacture the emotion directly. It almost never works.
Think of it this way: results are destinations. Process is the road that gets you there. You can’t skip the journey.
The Real Solution: A Different Approach to Directing
Here’s what actually works when directing actors on set.
Stop Giving Line Readings
I learned this the hard way on “Married & Isolated.”
I kept telling the actor exactly how I heard the line in my head—the rhythm, the emphasis, even the pitch. He started sounding like a robot trying to impersonate me.
Actors aren’t voice recorders. When you give line readings, you’re bypassing their creative process entirely. You get a hollow imitation instead of a real performance.
Instead, talk about what the character wants in that moment. Talk about what just happened, or what they’re trying to make happen. The line will take care of itself.
Line readings kill authenticity. Every single time.
Use Actionable Verbs, Not Feelings
This changed everything for me.
Instead of “be angry,” try “make them feel small” or “push them away” or “punish them for what they did.”
Instead of “be in love,” try “pull them closer” or “convince them to stay” or “make them see you differently.”
These are playable. An actor can do them. They can’t just be angry, but they can absolutely try to make someone feel small.
Adjectives (Don’t Use) → Verbs (Use These)
- Sad → Withdraw, retreat, collapse
- Angry → Attack, challenge, punish
- Happy → Celebrate, share, embrace
- Scared → Hide, flee, freeze
- Romantic → Seduce, entice, captivate
- Suspicious → Test, probe, investigate
Some useful verbs for directing:
- Convince
- Seduce
- Challenge
- Comfort
- Interrogate
- Dismiss
- Warn
- Plead
- Celebrate
- Protect
Notice how every one of these is an action you take toward something or someone? That’s what makes them work.
Actors need actions, not emotions. Give them something to pursue, and the emotion follows.
Know When to Shut Up
On “Tommy Lindholm,” I learned that sometimes the best direction is no direction.
We had this scene that wasn’t landing. I kept giving notes, trying to fix it. Every adjustment made it worse.
Finally, my DP pulled me aside: “Let them just play the scene.”
I did. It was perfect.
Actors often know their characters better than you do. They’ve spent hours thinking about motivations, backstory, relationships. Sometimes you just need to get out of their way.
If the casting is right and the actors understand the scene, trust them. Only step in when something’s genuinely off.
Over-directing is just as bad as under-directing. Maybe worse, because it kills the actor’s confidence.
Give Direction in Private
Never, ever give an actor notes in front of the whole crew.
I saw a director do this on a set I was acting on. He yelled corrections at an actress while forty people watched. She shut down completely. The rest of the shoot was torture.
Pull actors aside. Keep it between you and them. Respect that they’re making themselves vulnerable in front of everyone.
This isn’t about coddling. It’s about basic professionalism. You wouldn’t want your boss critiquing your work over the company loudspeaker.
The Protected Space:
DIRECTOR ←→ ACTOR
(Private conversation)
↓
Rest of crew respects
the working spaceWhy this matters:
- Actors need psychological safety to take risks
- Public notes create performance anxiety
- Private communication builds trust
- The crew understands this is professional protocol
When you create this bubble, you signal to everyone that the actor-director relationship is sacred. The crew will respect it. The actor will trust you more. The performances improve.
Always.
Talk About the Scene Before You Shoot It
This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many directors skip it.
Before every scene in “Going Home,” I’d gather the actors and we’d talk through:
- What just happened before this scene starts
- What each character wants
- What’s at stake if they don’t get it
- How the relationships shift by the end
Five minutes of conversation saves an hour of fumbling on set.
It also means you’re all on the same page. The actors aren’t guessing at your vision—they know it.
This pre-scene conversation is where you catch problems before the camera rolls. Where you discover that the actress has been thinking about the character’s motivation completely differently than you wrote it. Where you realize there’s a better way to stage the whole thing.
Don’t skip this step. Ever.
Understand How Different Actors Work
Some actors love rehearsal. Some hate it.
Some want extensive backstory. Some prefer to stay in the moment.
Some need to talk through everything. Some need silence before a take.
I had two leads on a short film with completely opposite processes. One wanted to rehearse every scene multiple times. The other felt it killed spontaneity and wanted to save everything for the take.
So we rehearsed with the first actor privately, worked out the blocking, then brought in the second actor for minimal technical run-throughs. Both got what they needed.
There’s no universal “right way” to work with actors. The right way is whatever works for the specific people in front of you.
Learn your actors’ processes early. Ask them directly: “What helps you do your best work?” Then adjust.
Create Actual Safety, Not Just Nice Words
“I want everyone to feel safe” means nothing if you don’t back it up.
Real safety means:
- No yelling on set
- No surprises about what’s being shot
- Clear communication about intimate scenes or stunts
- Respecting when someone says they need a break
- Not letting crew members make inappropriate comments
- Actually addressing problems instead of ignoring them
On “Noelle’s Package,” we had a situation where the crew ended up acting because the actors didn’t show. Nobody had acting experience. We could’ve rushed through it or gotten frustrated.
Instead, we made it clear: mistakes were expected. Every mess-up was just a chance to try again. We’d laugh it off and reset.
That simple shift—from pressure to permission—made everyone relax. The performances got better with each take.
Safety isn’t about being soft. It’s about removing obstacles so actors can focus on the work instead of protecting themselves.
Avoid Results-Oriented Direction
I keep coming back to this because it’s that important.
“Be sad.”
“Look worried.”
“I want the audience to feel ___.”
All useless.
Here’s what these sound like when you flip them to process:
“You just found out they’ve been lying to you.”
“You’re trying to figure out if they’re telling the truth.”
“You need them to believe you, or everything falls apart.”
See the difference? One asks the actor to manufacture a feeling. The other gives them a circumstance to respond to.
Feelings are results. Circumstances create them.
Result-Oriented vs. Process-Oriented: The Core Difference
Result-Oriented says:
- “Be more scared”
- “You need to cry here”
- “I want this to feel sad”
- “Look surprised”
- “Make the audience laugh”
What the actor hears: “Show an emotion you may not be feeling.”
Process-Oriented says:
- “You just heard someone breaking in”
- “This is the last time you’ll see them”
- “You’re realizing they never loved you”
- “You thought they were gone—and now they’re standing right there”
- “You’re trying to get them to lighten up because the tension is killing you”
What the actor hears: “Respond truthfully to this specific situation.”
Results ask for an emotion.
Process gives circumstances that create the emotion.
Results tell actors what to show.
Process gives them something to respond to.
Actors can’t choose their feelings. They can choose their actions, objectives, and what they focus on—and feelings arise from those choices.
This single shift—from results to process—will transform your directing overnight.
Ask Questions Instead of Giving Orders
Sometimes the best direction is a question.
Instead of: “Say that line angrier.”
Try: “What just happened that’s making you react this way?”
Instead of: “Move to the window.”
Try: “Where would your character naturally go in this moment?”
Instead of: “That’s not working.”
Try: “What do you think is going through their mind right now?”
Questions make actors think. They engage their creativity instead of shutting it down.
I had a scene that felt flat. Instead of telling the actor what to do differently, I asked: “What does your character actually want from them in this moment?”
He thought for a second and said, “I want them to acknowledge what I did for them.”
Boom. That was it. The scene clicked.
Questions turn actors into collaborators instead of puppets. And collaboration always produces better work than dictatorship.
Don’t Micromanage Movement
I made this mistake constantly early on.
“Take three steps, turn on your left foot, pause for two seconds, then sit.”
The actor spent the whole scene counting steps instead of being in the moment.
Give actors the freedom to move naturally unless there’s a technical reason not to. If you need them in a specific spot for focus or lighting, tell them where to end up, not every step to get there.
“You need to end up by the window” is better than choreographing the exact path.
Blocking should feel organic, not robotic. The best movement comes from emotional impulses, not stage directions.
Schedule Smart Breaks
Actors aren’t machines.
Emotionally intense scenes drain them. Shooting the same thing twelve times is exhausting. Standing around waiting while you adjust lighting for an hour kills momentum.
On “Going Home,” we had several emotionally brutal scenes. I scheduled longer breaks around them. Gave actors quiet spaces to decompress. Didn’t expect them to immediately jump into the next scene.
Your shoot schedule should account for actor energy, not just technical logistics.
Build in recovery time. Especially after crying scenes, fight scenes, or anything emotionally demanding.
A rested actor will give you a better take than an exhausted one. Always.
Know When to Move On
Every director struggles with this.
You’ve done eight takes. Take four was pretty good. Take seven was different but interesting. Do you do one more?
Here’s my rule: if you can’t articulate exactly what you want to improve, move on.
“One more for safety” is usually code for “I don’t know if we have it.” If you don’t know what’s missing, another take won’t help.
Trust your instincts. If it feels right, it probably is.
Perfectionism kills performances. After a certain point, actors start second-guessing themselves. They lose the spontaneity that made the earlier takes work.
Get what you need and move forward.
How to Give an Actor a Note Without Pissing Them Off
This is basically an art form.
Bad note: “That wasn’t working. Do it differently.”
Better note: “That was interesting. Let’s try one where you’re trying harder to convince them.”
Best note: “Great. What if we did one where you just found out [specific new piece of information]? See what that changes.”
The pattern:
- Acknowledge what they gave you
- Give them something specific to add or adjust
- Frame it as exploration, not correction
Actors want to be good. They’re not trying to sabotage your film. When something isn’t working, it’s usually because they don’t have the right information or circumstances to respond to.
Your job is to give them that information, not to make them feel bad about not having it.
The Note Sandwich (Use Sparingly):
- Positive observation
- Adjustment suggestion
- Encouragement
But don’t make it formulaic. Actors can tell when you’re following a script instead of genuinely responding to their work.
Authenticity matters in notes as much as it does in performances.
How to Build Trust With Your Cast Quickly
Trust doesn’t happen automatically just because you’re the director.
I learned this working with a skeptical actor who’d been burned by bad directors before. He was defensive in the first few rehearsals, second-guessing every note.
So I:
- Asked him questions about his character
- Actually listened to his ideas
- Used one of his suggestions in the scene
- Gave him space to try things his way
- Admitted when I wasn’t sure about something
By day two of shooting, he was all in.
Trust comes from showing actors you respect their process. It comes from being honest when you don’t have answers. It comes from collaboration instead of dictatorship.
Fast-Track Trust Building:
- Share your vision early and often
- Ask for their input
- Actually use their ideas when they’re good
- Admit mistakes immediately
- Follow through on commitments
- Protect them from chaos
Actors need to know you have their back. Once they trust you, they’ll walk through fire for you.
How to Direct Non-Professional Actors on a Low-Budget Set
This is its own beast entirely.
Non-professional actors don’t have the same toolkit as trained actors. They might not know what “find your mark” means. They might not understand motivated movement or subtext.
On low-budget sets, you’re often working with friends, local people, or folks who’ve never been on a film set.
Here’s what works:
Keep language simple. Don’t use film jargon or acting terminology. Instead of “what’s your objective,” say “what do you want from them in this scene?”
Show, don’t tell. Instead of explaining blocking, physically walk them through it.
Use real-life comparisons. “Remember how you felt when [relatable situation]? That’s the energy I’m looking for here.”
Be patient. What takes a trained actor one take might take a non-actor ten. That’s okay. Build it into your schedule.
Focus on authenticity over technique. Non-actors often bring a natural truthfulness that trained actors have to work to reclaim. Don’t coach it out of them trying to make them “act.”
Limit takes for emotional scenes. Non-actors don’t have the emotional control to cry on cue repeatedly. You might get two, maybe three good emotional takes. Plan accordingly.
Celebrate small wins. When they nail something, make sure they know it. Non-actors need more positive reinforcement because they don’t have the internal confidence that comes from training.
The “Noelle’s Package” shoot taught me this. When our crew had to fill in as actors, we weren’t trying to give polished performances. We were just being real. And it worked.
Sometimes the best performances come from people who don’t know enough to overthink it.
Actionable Verbs: The Cheat Sheet Every Director Needs
Keep this list handy on set:
Power/Control: Intimidate, dominate, challenge, test, provoke, corner, overpower, dismiss, command, control, manipulate
Connection/Intimacy:
Seduce, charm, comfort, reassure, embrace, captivate, entice, console, nurture, connect
Conflict/Aggression: Attack, accuse, punish, threaten, blame, destroy, wound, ambush, confront, demolish
Protection/Defense:
Shield, deflect, guard, protect, hide, retreat, evade, escape, fortify, withdraw
Persuasion:
Convince, cajole, beg, plead, negotiate, bargain, sell, manipulate, coax, appeal
Truth-Seeking:
Interrogate, probe, investigate, expose, uncover, confront, test, challenge, examine
Celebration/Joy:
Celebrate, share, boast, show off, revel, play, tease, joke, delight, triumph
Vulnerability: Confess, reveal, expose, surrender, submit, yield, open up, trust
Pick a verb. Give it to your actor. Watch what happens.
Better yet, let the actor choose from a few options. “Are you trying to seduce them, convince them, or challenge them here?” They’ll often pick the one that unlocks the scene.
The Tools You Actually Need on Set
Forget fancy directing monitors and complicated systems.
Here’s what I bring to every shoot:
A notebook: For jotting down notes between takes, tracking coverage, and recording ideas for pickups.
The script: Marked up with beats, character objectives, and key moments I can’t miss.
A good attitude: Sounds cheesy, but it matters more than any piece of equipment. The director’s energy sets the tone for the entire set.
Quick note: Some links in this article are affiliate links. If you buy something through them, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend tools I actually use. If something’s garbage, I’ll tell you—commission or not.
Water and snacks for actors: Seriously. Keep a cooler with water bottles and energy bars near the actors’ area. Small gesture, huge impact on morale.
That’s it.
You don’t need expensive directing monitors or complicated playback systems (though they’re nice). You need preparation, clear communication, and the ability to stay calm when things go sideways.
Oh, and coffee. Always bring coffee.
Two Books Every Director Should Actually Read
There’s a lot of directing books out there. Most are useless.
But two actually changed how I work:
“Directing Actors” by Judith Weston: This is the industry bible for a reason. Weston breaks down the actor-director relationship in practical terms. She explains process vs. results, how actors think, and what they actually need from directors. Every concept I’ve discussed about process-oriented directing comes from her work. If you read one book on directing actors, make it this one.
“Respect for Acting” by Uta Hagen: Technically written for actors, but it’s invaluable for directors. Understanding how actors train and think makes you infinitely better at communicating with them. Hagen’s approach to character work and moment-to-moment truthfulness is gold.
Both books have Amazon affiliate links in my resources page if you want to grab them.
Reading Judith Weston’s book after my first year of directing was like putting on glasses for the first time. Suddenly everything that hadn’t made sense clicked into place.
What Should a Director Say to an Actor Before a Scene?
This is one of those questions that matters more than it seems.
The answer depends on the scene and the actor, but here’s a framework:
For emotional scenes: “Remember, [key piece of character history or motivation]. This is when [specific event or realization happens].”
Example: “Remember, you haven’t seen your sister in five years because of what she said at your wedding. This is when you realize she’s been trying to apologize this whole time.”
For conflict scenes:
“Your character needs to [specific objective], and they’re standing in your way. What are you willing to do to get what you need?”
Example: “You need them to admit they lied, and they keep deflecting. How far are you willing to push?”
For comedy:
“You’re not trying to be funny—you’re completely serious. Your character thinks [absurd thing] is totally normal.”
Example: “You genuinely believe that bringing a chicken to a business meeting is professional and appropriate. You’re confused why anyone would question it.”
For first takes:
“Let’s just run it and see what happens. No pressure.”
For actors who are nervous:
“I’m thrilled with what you’ve been doing. Trust yourself.”
For actors who are overthinking: “Stop thinking. Just respond to them in the moment.”
Keep it simple. Give them something to hang onto. Then let them work.
The last thing you say before “action” sets the tone for the take. Make it count.
The One Thing I Wish I’d Known Earlier
Actors want to be great.
They’re not trying to make your life difficult. They’re not being precious or difficult when they ask questions.
They’re trying to do good work, just like you.
When I stopped seeing actors as obstacles to my vision and started seeing them as collaborators bringing that vision to life, everything changed.
The dynamic shifted from me trying to extract performances to us building something together.
That’s when the real work started.
And that’s when the films got better.
Actually Implementing This Stuff
Reading about directing is easy. Doing it on set is hard.
Here’s how to actually use this:
Before your shoot:
- Mark your script with character objectives for each scene
- Write down 3-5 actionable verbs for key moments
- Identify emotional high points and plan extra time
- Make notes on each character’s journey through the story
- Research your actors’ previous work to understand their style
- Prepare questions to ask instead of directions to give
On set:
- Talk through each scene before shooting
- Give direction privately
- Use process language (circumstances, objectives, actions)
- Ask questions instead of giving orders when possible
- Notice when actors are finding something—and let them
- Stay calm, even when you’re freaking out internally
- Build in breaks after intense scenes
Between takes:
- Be specific with notes
- Acknowledge what’s working before suggesting changes
- Trust your actors
- Know when to move on
- Keep energy positive
- Protect actor-director conversation from outside interference
After wrap:
- Reflect on what worked and what didn’t
- Build relationships for future projects
- Be generous with credit
- Stay in touch with actors you want to work with again
The difference between a good director and a great one isn’t talent. It’s preparation and process.
The Bottom Line
Directing actors isn’t about controlling their every move or forcing your exact vision onto them.
It’s about creating conditions where great performances can happen. It’s about giving actors the information and circumstances they need to do their best work.
It’s collaboration, not dictatorship.
The directors actors love working with aren’t the ones with the biggest budgets or the most accolades. They’re the ones who understand what actors need, respect their process, and create environments where everyone can do their best work.
Be that director.
Your actors—and your films—will thank you.
And here’s the thing nobody tells you: when actors trust you, they’ll give you moments you never imagined. Moments that transform your script from words on a page into something that makes audiences feel.
That’s the magic we’re all chasing.
That’s why we do this.
The Moment Smooth 5 Filmmaker Kit transforms your smartphone into a cinematic powerhouse, combining the Smooth 5 gimbal’s flawless 3-axis stabilization with magic-hour CineBloom filters and an audio-friendly filter mount for professional results. Buy the kit and start filming cinematically today.
Check out other great informative filmmaking articles on Peek At This:
Peekatthis.com is part of the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, which means we get a small commission when you click our links and buy stuff. It’s like our way of saying “Thanks for supporting us!” We also team up with B&H, Adorama, Clickbank, CJ, and a few other cool folks.
If you found this post helpful, don’t keep it to yourself—share it with your friends on social media! Got something to add? Drop a comment below; we love hearing from you!
📌 Don’t forget to bookmark this blog for later and pin those images in the article! You never know when you might need them.
About the Author:
Trent Peek is a filmmaker specializing in directing, producing, and acting. He works with high-end cinema cameras from RED and ARRI and also values the versatility of cameras like the Blackmagic Pocket Cinema.
His recent short film “Going Home” was selected for the 2024 Soho International Film Festival, highlighting his skill in crafting compelling narratives. Learn more about his work on [IMDB], [YouTube], [Vimeo], and [Stage 32].
In his downtime, he likes to travel (sometimes he even manages to pack the right shoes), curl up with a book (and usually fall asleep after two pages), and brainstorm film ideas (most of which will never see the light of day). It’s a good way to keep himself occupied, even if he’s a bit of a mess at it all.
P.S. It’s really weird to talk in the third person
Tune In: He recently appeared on the Pushin Podcast, sharing insights into the director’s role in independent productions.
For more behind-the-scenes content and project updates, visit his YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@trentalor.
For business inquiries, please get in touch with him at trentalor@peekatthis.com. You can also find Trent on Instagram @trentalor and Facebook @peekatthis.