The Books I Wish I’d Read Ten Years Ago
I was twenty-eight, sitting in my apartment editing footage from a short film that would never see a festival. My relationship was falling apart. My bank account looked like a bad joke. And I had this gnawing feeling that I was capable of more—I just had no idea how to get there.
So I did what any lost creative does: I bought a stack of self-improvement books.
Most of them were garbage. Platitudes dressed up as wisdom. “Just believe in yourself!” Thanks, that’s super helpful when you’re three months behind on rent.
But a few books? They actually shifted something. Not overnight—nothing worthwhile happens overnight—but slowly, like adjusting the white balance on a shot until everything suddenly clicks into focus.
This isn’t a list of every self-help book ever written. It’s the fifteen that genuinely changed how I approach work, relationships, and the constant anxiety of being a freelance filmmaker who occasionally wonders if he should’ve gone to law school.
The Problem: Most Self-Help Books Are Just Expensive Therapy Cosplay
Here’s the thing about personal development books: ninety percent of them say the same thing in slightly different words. “Set goals.” “Think positive.” “Wake up at 5 AM and drink celery juice while journaling about gratitude.”
The self-help industry has become this weird performance where everyone pretends their life is a TED Talk waiting to happen. And most books feed into that—they’re designed to make you feel motivated for about forty-eight hours before you’re back to doom-scrolling at 2 AM.
I’ve wasted money on books that promised to “unlock my potential” but really just recycled the same advice I could’ve gotten from a decent conversation with my dad. The difference between a good self-improvement book and a bad one isn’t the message—it’s whether the author has actually lived what they’re teaching.
Why We Keep Buying Books Instead of Changing
There’s a psychological comfort in reading about improvement. It feels productive. You’re doing something, right? You bought the book. You highlighted passages. You told your friends about it.
But most of us treat self-help books like Netflix: we consume them, nod along, then move on to the next thing without implementing anything. I did this for years. I’d finish a book, feel inspired, then go right back to my old patterns because real change is uncomfortable.
The books that actually work are the ones that make you uncomfortable enough to act. They don’t just give you information—they challenge the stories you tell yourself about why you’re stuck.
The Books That Actually Delivered
1. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
This book showed up right when I needed someone to tell me that my problems weren’t special. Manson’s whole thesis is that you have limited f*cks to give in life, so you better choose carefully what gets your energy.
I was stressing about everything: gear I couldn’t afford, festivals that rejected my work, people who didn’t respond to emails. This book helped me realize that most of that anxiety came from caring about things that didn’t actually matter.
It’s not about being apathetic—it’s about being intentional. Now when I’m spiraling about something, I ask myself: “Is this worth a f*ck?” Usually, it’s not.
Why it works: Manson writes like a normal human being, not a motivational poster. His approach to personal development feels grounded in reality instead of toxic positivity.
2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
Yeah, it’s corporate. Yeah, your dad probably read it. But here’s the thing—it works.
Covey breaks down effectiveness into seven habits that sound obvious until you realize you’re not doing any of them. “Begin with the end in mind” completely changed how I approach film projects. Instead of just shooting footage and hoping it comes together in the edit, I started defining what I wanted the finished piece to communicate before I even picked up the camera.
The habit that hit hardest was “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” I was terrible at this in relationships. I’d be so focused on making my point that I never actually listened. Once I started genuinely trying to understand other people’s perspectives first, my personal and professional relationships improved dramatically.
Why it works: The principles are timeless. You can apply them to filmmaking, relationships, finances—basically any area where you want to be more effective instead of just busy.
3. Eat That Frog! by Brian Tracy
The premise is simple: if you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be better by comparison.
Tracy uses this as a metaphor for tackling your most challenging, important task before you do anything else. For me, that’s usually writing or editing—the stuff I procrastinate on by convincing myself I need to “get organized” first.
When I started applying this, my productivity exploded. I’d wake up, make coffee, and immediately dive into the hardest thing on my list. No email. No social media. Just the work that actually moved my projects forward.
Why it works: It’s brutally simple. One clear action you can implement immediately. No complicated system, no app, just do the hard thing first.
4. The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz
This book challenged my entire approach to goal-setting. I was setting small, “realistic” goals because I was afraid of failing at big ones. Schwartz argues that thinking small is actually more stressful because small goals don’t inspire the energy and creativity needed to achieve them.
After reading this, I stopped pitching myself as “a freelance videographer” and started calling myself a filmmaker. Same work, different frame. But that shift in thinking changed how I approached projects and how clients perceived me.
The chapter on using fear as a tool instead of letting it paralyze you? That’s the one I go back to before every big pitch or project launch.
Why it works: It rewires your relationship with ambition. Instead of seeing big goals as unrealistic, you start seeing small goals as insufficient.
5. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Brown’s research on vulnerability changed how I think about creative work. For years, I hid behind the camera because showing my own work felt too exposing. What if people hated it? What if they thought I was a fraud?
Daring Greatly made me realize that vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the only way to create anything that matters. Every film I’ve made that connected with people was one where I took a risk and showed something real, even if it made me uncomfortable.
Her concept of being “in the arena”—actually doing the work instead of just critiquing from the sidelines—became my mantra. It’s easy to be a critic. It’s hard to make something and put it out there.
Why it works: Brown gives you permission to be imperfect. That’s a revelation when you’re a creative person constantly comparing yourself to people with bigger budgets and more experience.
6. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
It’s a short book about mice and cheese. Sounds ridiculous. Somehow works.
The story is about how different personalities respond to change. Some people adapt quickly. Some deny that change is happening. Some get angry about it.
I read this during a rough patch when my filmmaking work was drying up and I was clinging to old strategies that weren’t working anymore. The book helped me accept that the industry was changing—and I needed to change with it or become irrelevant.
Why it works: It’s a parable, so it’s not preachy. You can read it in an hour, but the message sticks with you. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not. Might as well adapt.
7. How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Every filmmaker should read this book. Hell, every human should read this book.
Carnegie’s principles are deceptively simple: remember people’s names, listen more than you talk, make others feel important. But applying them consistently? That’s where most people fail.
When I started genuinely implementing Carnegie’s advice—especially “become genuinely interested in other people”—my networking improved immediately. I stopped thinking of networking as transactional and started building actual relationships.
The chapter on handling criticism without getting defensive saved me countless arguments, both on set and in my personal life.
Why it works: Human nature hasn’t changed since 1936. Carnegie’s principles are still relevant because they’re based on fundamental psychology, not trendy techniques.
8. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Look, the title is cheesy. Some of the language is dated. But the core concepts—especially around persistence and definite purpose—are solid.
Hill interviewed successful people and distilled their common traits into principles. The one that stuck with me was the idea of “definiteness of purpose”: knowing exactly what you want and focusing all your energy on it.
I used to scatter my focus across ten different projects, making incremental progress on everything and real progress on nothing. After reading this, I started prioritizing ruthlessly. What’s the one thing that, if I accomplish it this year, will make everything else easier?
Why it works: It forces you to get specific about what success actually means to you, not what society tells you it should mean.
9. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
This is the most “spiritual” book on the list, and honestly, I almost skipped it because the cover looks like something you’d find at a yoga retreat.
But Tolle’s central message—that most of our suffering comes from living in the past or future instead of the present—hit me hard. I was constantly anxious about future deadlines or depressed about past failures. I was never actually here.
Tolle’s techniques for bringing yourself back to the present moment helped me manage anxiety better than anything else I’ve tried. When I’m spiraling about money or career stuff, I stop and ask: “What problem do I have right now, in this moment?” Usually, in the actual present moment, I’m fine.
Why it works: It addresses the root cause of most anxiety and dissatisfaction. You can’t change the past. You can’t control the future. You can only work with now.
10. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss
Ferriss gets a lot of criticism, and some of it is fair. But this book fundamentally changed how I thought about work and lifestyle design.
The concept that stuck with me was “lifestyle design”—building your work around the life you want, not the other way around. I’d been grinding eighty-hour weeks thinking that’s what “serious” filmmakers did. Ferriss challenged that: what if you could work smarter, automate or eliminate busywork, and create more freedom?
I started saying no to projects that didn’t align with my goals. I raised my rates and took on fewer, better clients. I stopped equating busyness with productivity.
Why it works: It gives you permission to question the default path. Just because everyone else is working themselves to death doesn’t mean you have to.
11. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
This book is ruthless. It’s based on historical examples of power dynamics, and some of the laws are… morally questionable.
But understanding power dynamics is crucial if you’re navigating creative industries. I don’t apply every law—some of them are manipulative—but understanding how power works helped me protect myself from being exploited.
Law 1 (“Never outshine the master”) saved me from making career mistakes when working with insecure directors. Law 15 (“Crush your enemy totally”) I ignore, because I’m not a sociopath. But Law 28 (“Enter action with boldness”) changed how I pitched projects.
Why it works: Knowledge is power. Understanding these dynamics means you can recognize when someone is using them against you.
12. Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins
Robbins gets mocked for being over-the-top, but his core message is powerful: you’re in control of your mental, emotional, and physical state. You can change your life by changing your habitual patterns.
The concept of “neuro-associative conditioning”—rewiring your brain by associating pain with bad habits and pleasure with good ones—actually works. I used it to quit smoking and to build a consistent writing habit.
Robbins is intense, but that intensity cuts through the excuses we tell ourselves about why we can’t change.
Why it works: It’s action-oriented. Robbins doesn’t just tell you what to change—he shows you how to make change stick.
13. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
Carnegie’s second appearance on this list. This book is specifically about managing worry and anxiety—something I’ve struggled with my entire adult life.
The technique that helped most was “living in day-tight compartments”: focusing only on today, not catastrophizing about the future. I’d been making myself miserable worrying about worst-case scenarios that never happened.
Carnegie provides practical formulas for breaking the worry habit. It’s not just “don’t worry”—it’s a systematic approach to addressing anxiety at its root.
Why it works: Worry is a habit, and like any habit, it can be broken with the right techniques. Carnegie gives you those techniques.
14. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Brown’s second appearance, because her work on shame and worthiness is that important.
This book is about letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embracing who you actually are. For creatives, that’s crucial. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to other filmmakers, other artists, thinking we’re not good enough.
Brown’s “guideposts to wholehearted living” helped me stop trying to be perfect and start being authentic. My work got better when I stopped trying to impress people and started making things that mattered to me.
Why it works: Perfectionism kills creativity. This book helps you let go of impossible standards and embrace your imperfect, authentic self.
15. The ONE Thing by Gary Keller
The premise: what’s the one thing you can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?
This question changed how I approach my work and life goals. Instead of maintaining a massive to-do list, I identify the single most important thing that will create momentum.
For my filmmaking career, the “one thing” was building a strong portfolio of personal work. Everything else—networking, marketing, gear upgrades—became secondary to that.
Keller’s concept of “time blocking” also transformed my productivity. I block off four hours every morning for deep work on my one thing. Everything else gets scheduled around that.
Why it works: Focus is a superpower. This book helps you find your focus and protect it from the thousand distractions fighting for your attention.
How to Actually Use These Books (Instead of Just Collecting Them)
Here’s what I learned after years of buying self-improvement books and not improving:
1. Read with a pen. Highlight, take notes, argue in the margins. Passive reading doesn’t change anything.
2. Pick one thing to implement. Don’t try to overhaul your entire life. Choose one concept from the book and apply it for thirty days.
3. Revisit regularly. I re-read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* every year because I need the reminder. These aren’t one-and-done books.
4. Test everything. Just because something worked for the author doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Try it, adjust it, or discard it.
5. Stack habits slowly. After you’ve implemented one change and it’s become automatic, add another. Build on what’s working.
The books that changed my life didn’t do it because I read them—they did it because I applied them. Reading is just the starting point.
Final Thoughts
I’m not the same person I was when I started reading these books. I’m not perfect—still anxious, still struggling with some of the same issues—but I’m better. More focused. More intentional. Less likely to waste energy on things that don’t matter.
Self-improvement isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming a better version of who you already are. These fifteen books gave me the tools to do that.
Pick one. Read it. Apply it. Then come back for the next one.
You’ve got work to do.
📚 Deepen Your Learning
The themes in this book are backed by extensive research. For those who want to explore further:
The Research Behind the Work: Visit Brené Brown’s official research page to see the studies and data that inform her teachings on vulnerability and courage.
Leadership Studies: The Center for Creative Leadership offers excellent resources on emotionally intelligent leadership.
Psychological Foundations: Learn more about resilience and wholehearted living through the American Psychological Association’s resilience resources.
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About the Author:
Trent Peek is a filmmaker specializing in directing, producing, and acting. He works with high-end cinema cameras from RED and ARRI and also values the versatility of cameras like the Blackmagic Pocket Cinema.
His recent short film “Going Home” was selected for the 2024 Soho International Film Festival, highlighting his skill in crafting compelling narratives. Learn more about his work on [IMDB], [YouTube], [Vimeo], and [Stage 32].
In his downtime, he likes to travel (sometimes he even manages to pack the right shoes), curl up with a book (and usually fall asleep after two pages), and brainstorm film ideas (most of which will never see the light of day). It’s a good way to keep himself occupied, even if he’s a bit of a mess at it all.
P.S. It’s really weird to talk in the third person
Tune In: He recently appeared on the Pushin Podcast, sharing insights into the director’s role in independent productions.
For more behind-the-scenes content and project updates, visit his YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@trentalor.
For business inquiries, please get in touch with him at trentalor@peekatthis.com. You can also find Trent on Instagram @trentalor and Facebook @peekatthis.
